fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
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sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
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People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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