that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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