i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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