and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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