Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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