would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
