Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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