The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
