i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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