watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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