just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
