Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
