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And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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