I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
