wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
