My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wish I only lived at night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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