We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
