i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
