I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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