do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
