He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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