clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
