i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
