i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
