i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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