you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
