I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
