Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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