The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
