she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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