Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
