Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
