I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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