just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
