just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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