I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
