So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
