Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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