I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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