i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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