I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
