I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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