Define "chronic" masturbator.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
