Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
