awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
