Im at strip club and am horny
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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