I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
