I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Mom said you looked used
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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