Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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