His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
His nipple licking is glorious
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