i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
