Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
