Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize