Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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