i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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