Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
