i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
