so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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