Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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