dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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