3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
