Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
how does that bad decision feel?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
