Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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