I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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