6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's the barista slut.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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